i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
