Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
