I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
