We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
