you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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