I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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