In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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