with your own penis?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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