..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
