Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
