btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
