Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
