did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
