is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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