yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
