I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
