The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
