You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
