i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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