omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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