Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
