the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
