umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
