hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
