So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
