Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
