you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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