I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
