can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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