i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
