I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
