ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
