I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
