Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
