i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
They have beer where we have blood.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
