o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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