Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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