i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
