what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
