Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
