No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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