Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
