I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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