susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
