im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
