tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
