My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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