Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just high enough for therapy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
