i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You are the jesus of drinking
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Panties = found
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
