I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
false alarm. still invincible.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
