Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
